Note to self

Dear Future Self – If (when), for whatever reason, your eating disorder starts whispering in your ear and you start thinking that losing just a little bit of weight sounds like a good idea, please please please take into consideration how much getting back on track from even a fairly minor slip really fucking sucks. […]

Arguing with the Devil

In this post I wrote about externalizing my illness and labeling the disordered thoughts as definitively not me. I can’t say enough how important I think that it in recovery (and how hard it can be but more on that in a different post). Identifying disordered thoughts is a key skill in CBT (cognitive behavioral […]


I seem to be having trouble stringing words together into coherent sentences. There are about a million things I want to write posts about but this has been taking up a lot of mental space lately so I’m going to start here. Trauma. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about trauma, about what “counts” as […]

Monkeys in trees (or separating myself from my illness)

My favorite DBT therapist described the practice of mindfulness like this: Picture your mind as a jungle full of all kinds of trees. Now your picture your consciousness (focus/mental energy/thoughts/whatever you want to call it) as a little monkey that lives in that jungle. The monkey likes to hop around from tree to tree. Mindfulness […]

Why blog?

I never wanted to have a blog. Frankly the idea of writing things and putting them out there into the world for other people to read is downright terrifying. So why blog? It was this post of Marcella’s (or actually a comment Marcella made explaining that post on another blog) that inspired me. I dare […]